When you must continue a relationship for the sake of the children, it is important to know how to deal with a Narcissist. So much advice focuses upon terminating relationships with narcissists. This is certainly not the possible when there are children involved. Although problems may have preceded the separation and divorce, the divorce may now lead a narcissist to behave in ways that punish the former spouse and, by clear association, impact the children too. This behavior occurs because it is very important for the narcissist to prop up a very fragile sense of self and creating an enemy helps them preserve the facade of greatness and avoid shame.
The narcissist may be unwilling to negotiate simple terms in divorce or manage the myriad of post divorce issues that often arise and must be dealt with when children are involved. Unfortunately, the legal and therapeutic systems are not well designed to support either the adults or children when this occurs. Often, the parent who is the target of the narcissist is kept from a clear path to calmer waters, for themselves and the children, by a court system designed only for the most egregious and obvious offenses. Socioeconomic circumstances may protect the narcissist from the glaring eye of society and courts too if they can provide materially well for the children, even if not paying their agreed share of basic expenses, as agreed to in their divorce with the other parent, for example. Even simple scheduling snafus or schedule changes can result in a narcissist continuing along a path of elevated tension and toxicity that clearly impacts children. As parental conflict is the single greatest predictor of children experiencing problems when parents divorce, it is imperative that people have tools to manage this relationship. http://bit.ly/1R2kkgp
So, what are real and practical solutions? The answer is likely more complex for an individual situation than can be captured more generally here, but it is important that the non-narcissist parent do these 5 things:
Certified Divorce Coach, Lawyer, Yoga Teacher, Divorced Parent