Do you tie yourself in knots with the money you pay your ex? My best coaching advice is right here to help you, right now!
Fighting Over Money You Pay Your Ex
When couples are in the midst of the divorce process, they have a lot on their minds. They are typically just trying to get through each day one step at a time. Often, the absolute last thing they want to face is their financial picture and what changes are taking place as a result of the dissolution of the marriage.
Divorce and money always seem to be intertwined and certainly not in a good way. Kind of like the chicken and the egg. Did money problems cause the divorce or did the divorce cause money problems? Usually, the answer to both questions is YES!
For many people, marriage involves financial stress…and lots of it. Money always seems to be tight for one reason or another. Perhaps one person is a spender and the other a saver. Or perhaps financial secrets were being kept. Or, maybe, as the couple grew older, their financial values shifted away from one another. No matter what occurs, there may be some financial disconnect between the couple that is unresolved and ultimately, among other factors, led to the separation.
One of the toughest, most emotional decisions of divorce is whether to keep or sell the family home. You have so many memories of starting a life together with your partner, bringing home a child, having a family pet, celebrating family holidays together, but, when the relationship ends, so do the dreams you once had for your future in the home together.
Finding the strength to persevere through the heartache, and making a huge financial decision, can feel like the most overwhelming task you’ve ever faced. Be sure you know what your options are so you can make an informed and well-planned decision that won’t end up costing you more money, taxes or heartache. Often, the decision to keep the house is made based on emotions; however, it should be weighed out alongside other assets in the property settlement agreement for the long-term.
The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. – Alice Walker.
Do you manage the finances in your household? Does your spouse? Do you share the responsibility equally? If it is anything less than equal, ask yourself why. You may first claim it’s convenience–they are at the office and can write the checks, manage the accounts, meet with our financial advisor, etc. But, if you dig a little deeper–stay with me now–is there something else?
It is so difficult to sort through the financial minutiae in the midst of a divorce. Believe me – I know. I was right there only a few short years ago.
It can feel overwhelming knowing there is so much riding on these potentially life changing decisions. But, all you need is to be armed with the right information at the right time. You need to know what will affect you, your taxes, and your financial well-being down the road. As with anything, it takes some time, research and a little planning. I’m here to help!
Certified Divorce Coach, Lawyer, Yoga Teacher, Divorced Parent