If you are separated or divorced, you have likely contemplated that some day, perhaps, you will find yourself in another relationship. With the experience of marriage and children, however, you may be both daunted and terrified at the prospect of re-entering the fray. After all, you are likely older now, have more experience and many more responsibilities than you did previously. So, how do you approach the brave new world of contemplating a new partnership, with children? You may be tempted to either opt out altogether until the children leave the nest or simply throw yourself out there and see what sticks. It’s likely in your best interest, and that of your kids, to formulate a plan that makes the likelihood of success, defined as re-engaging with interesting people, not necessarily re-partnering immediately, as your goal. Teaching kids you are resilient, and using a thoughtful approach, matters to their development too.
Take a deep breath (or several) and if you decide you are ready, leap in with both feet. Recognize your journey may not be perfect or without setbacks. However, engaging in the world with others will offers rewards for you and your kids, now and later.
In sum, remember that you face many transitions in your life right now. Your approach to dating and recoupling as one more aspect of a full and abundant life is likely the best one for you now. Use this time to experiment with what lies ahead, get your work and financial life in order and have fun with your kids. With this approach, whether or not you meet the next love of your life makes the ride as good as the destination.
Certified Divorce Coach, Lawyer, Yoga Teacher, Divorced Parent