3 Reasons Trying to Ruin Your Spouse in Divorce is a Huge Mistake

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You are getting a divorce. Perhaps congratulations are in order, or, perhaps not. Whatever your sentiment about the separation and divorce, make no mistake about one single thing: how you behave now and throughout the divorce with your spouse will define much of your life post divorce. And no, it isn’t just for the kids this is true although that is very important. It’s your mindset and focus that matters, right now, even as you likely face huge life change and emotional overwhelm. …read more

Top 5 Financial Loose-Ends to Tie Up Before You Untie the Knot

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When couples are in the midst of the divorce process, they have a lot on their minds. They are typically just trying to get through each day one step at a time. Often, the absolute last thing they want to face is their financial picture and what changes are taking place as a result of the dissolution of the marriage. …read more

Should I Keep Or Sell The Family Home?

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One of the toughest, most emotional decisions of divorce is whether to keep or sell the family home. You have so many memories of starting a life together with your partner, bringing home a child, having a family pet, celebrating family holidays together, but, when the relationship ends, so do the dreams you once had for your future in the home together. …read more

Should I Take a 401k Loan??

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It is so difficult to sort through the financial minutiae in the midst of a divorce. Believe me – I know. I was right there only a few short years ago.

It can feel overwhelming knowing there is so much riding on these potentially life changing decisions. But, all you need is to be armed with the right information at the right time. You need to know what will affect you, your taxes, and your financial well-being down the road. As with anything, it takes some time, research and a little planning. I’m here to help! …read more

3 Steps To Reduce Financial Worry In Divorce

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Divorce and money always seem to be intertwined and certainly not in a good way. Kind of like the chicken and the egg. Did money problems cause the divorce or did the divorce cause money problems? Usually, the answer to both questions is YES! For many people, marriage involves financial stress…and lots of it …read more

5 Ways to Deal With A Toxhole Ex

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We, at Dear Divorce Coach, have coined the term “toxhole” to refer to an ex who is both toxic and, well, an a**hole too. Although it’s a funny term, dealing with one is anything but laughable. There’s the ex who dumps you unreasonably or maybe doesn’t even give you the satisfaction of saying goodbye. Some exes treat you terribly in a relationship. Worse than both of those exes, however, are those, unhappy in your relationship but unhappier after the split. If you don’t have children with them, it’s easy to put as much distance between you and them as humanly possible and not be exposed to their negative fuming. But, what if you do have kids and are required to co-parent with them …read more

Loneliness: Do You Need Others Or a Deeper Connection to You?

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Often, I hear from clients, during separation and divorce, that they are lonely.

Loneliness, as most of us know, comes from a feeling that we are missing something or that we are disconnected. In separation and divorce, or even when trying to repair a broken relationship, this feeling might arise. However, if we keep digging, we might discover that loneliness is simply what we are feeling most of the time and only discover it when others aren’t around to distract us from it. Another person didn’t actually cause the loneliness, they didn’t fix it but rather simply distracted us from it for some period of time. What, then, is loneliness, really? …read more